nobody asked, but...

5:47pm: there's a constant struggle between my ego and my heart, between my desire to put the little things behind me and my need to insist upon being treated well. my heart usually wins, but at a price. i squash my pride and make that contact, start over again, but there's always that black mark, i never really trust fully ever again. i can forgive, but i can never forget and i don't know how to do it differently.

5:55pm: on an unrelated note, i'd like to announce that i have yet to smoke a cigarette today. applaud me, please.