with all the flux that's been surrounding me lately, i'd forgotten what home feels like. not home as in a place, but home as in a state of mind. i had that, though, the last week and a half, while jason was visiting. coming home after work to find him on my couch, studying or reading or watching television reminded me of how much i love coming home to someone. no, strike that. it reminded me of home much i love coming home to *him*. i love catching him unaware and seeing what he's like when i'm not around (it's strikingly similar to what he's like when i am around, for those who were curious.). it was wonderful to really feel like i was in a relationship for awhile, to not immediately start counting down the hours to the inevitable departure the moment he arrived. we spent days doing enormously fun things and we spent days doing absolutely nothing at all and i couldn't tell you which i enjoyed more. it was indescribably heavenly to have this person that i love so deeply right there, in front of me, at my side, within arm's reach for so many days so i could look and touch and say whatever came to mind whenever it came to mind. and sometimes what came to mind was Very Important, and sometimes what came to mind was distinctly silly, but it didn't matter and both sorts of speech were treated with equal weight. i'm starting to feel freer than i have in ages, and i'm so happy to have jason, and along with him, that freedom, back.

i guess what i'm getting to, in a very roundabout way, is it's nice to be in love.