more things i've found while perusing old entries:

Love is putting someone else's happiness above all else. If you are
willing to cause yourself pain to make someone else happy then you know
you have love in your heart. And even if making that person happy means
not being with them, their smile will always be your reward, for nothing
can make you happier than the smile of one you love.


--i remember being there, being able to do it, and i know that i'll be able to again someday, but right now, i really miss it. i really miss not being concerned all the time that the line i'm drawing is too close to where i'm standing and that i'm letting myself be taken advantage of. i want the freedom of love, of knowing that no one can take from me because i'm giving them more than they could ever want and doing it happily.

and another...

...remember too that the real value of a dark night of the soul is that it's maybe the surest way of ascertaining that you have one, a soul that is. A few rare souls are genuinely native to daylight but in my experience most of us, if we have souls, have the nocturnal kind; they aren't dark but darkness may be their element, darkness is a comfort to anything so divided against itself.

-from tony kushner's commencement speech. i can't add anything here, anything i would say would just detract.